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Monday, February 21, 2005

Not a hero today....

Ever have one of those days where, no matter what you think or know or believe about yourself, there will always be times where there is nothing you could do to help someone you love? I had one of those days today and they suck. Big time.

I got the IM from my friend, Special K, late this morning and it started out as normal as usual. Hey. How's it going? How was your weekend? Sounds like fun. Great. Mine was good blah blah blah. Then, somewhere after the blah blah blah, Special K tells me that someone near and dear to K that had previously been through a double mastectomy and chemotherapy has recently had new tests done. This woman that SK knows is like a mom to SK and her children and grandchildren are especially family-like to SK. Then SK tells me that the tests aren't just "not good" but they are bad. Very, very bad. The cancer has returned to this poor woman and, according to SK's father, it's "everywhere".

Special K has been down this road before. SK's friend from a second job was diagnosed with cervical cancer a couple of years ago and through treatment is in remission and, the last time I asked, pregnant. Hooray. But, the early diagnosis had SK reeling. I also remember the time very early on in our friendship when SK had to watch a relative die from cancer as well. Cancer is not SK's friend. Not that cancer is anyone's friend but SK seems particularly followed by it, haunted by it shall we say.

So, this morning, SK was incredibly upset and I was miles and hours away and without anything appropriate or valid to say. I hate that. I'm sorry is lame. I'm here if you need me...SK knows that. I felt like everything I did say or could say would sound more like the blah blah blah we had just left behind in our conversation.

Will someone PLEASE come up with something to say when really bad news is passed along to you that a. won't make you sound like a cheesy Hallmark card b. won't sound insincere c. won't sound shallow d. won't sound bumbling or e. doesn't negate or invalidate the enormity of what the receiver may be feeling? Please.

I HATE feeling inadequate.

1 Rescued:

At 1:12 AM, Blogger *** hunzer *** said...

Send my prayers to Special K. God...cancer sucks. :(


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