Powerless

Someone I love is in tremendous pain tonight and I'm completely powerless to be of any help. Life has thrown my friend one of those situations that is beyond all explanation, reason, comfort, words.

In the more than 5 years that she and I have been friends, I've cared about her and her family, watching them grow, laugh, travel, and exude a silliness unmatched. I've cared about her struggles in her marriage, in parenting, in school, in work, in life. I've watched her pack her bags and fly half way across the country to care for a mutual friend who was alone and in need. And, I've seen her defend the people she loves with a firey passion that builds from a place within her that she holds close to her heart.

I've cared about her but now when she needs someone the most, I can't care FOR her. I can't run to her and hold her in her time of grief. I can't sit beside her, holding her hand, while she tries to process the events that unfolded for her this morning.

When I look at the obstacles that are keeping me here instead of running to her there, I'm annoyed at how much they pale in comparison to the pain she is feeling. Yet, the reality of it is I am powerless to change my geography to be anywhere near her geography.

My words feel empty and unsympathetic and yet they are spoken and written with a love and sympathy that overflows from the deepest reaches of my heart.

I love you my friend. I cry with you. I'm here for you. I'm beside you one day at a time.