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Wednesday, April 06, 2005

The Cult

I joined a cult yesterday. My cult has various leaders that are paid to spearhead any of the fifteen gatherings held each week. They provide information and encouragement to it's members that keep them on the road to healing, enrichment and fulfillment in our lives. They offer tricks and tools to deal with life beyond the cult. They answer questions and provide education on how to incorporate the cult into our daily lives.

I joined Weight Watchers.

In my quest to lose this weight for good, I sought guidance from the ones who have made it work and have been able to sustain their weight long after becoming a lifetime member.

My goal is to shed 2 pounds each week for the next lifetime or until October, whichever comes first. I really want to look my best for our trip to PV. But, I keep thinking how great I will feel once I get there and how awesome it will be once the seven days in paradise have passed. I'm looking beyond those isolated days to the greatness that I will relish in even after those memories have been logged in.

I used to be thin. Sickly thin. So thin my mom once asked me if I had an eating disorder. I laugh now when I gaze at my reflection wondering how I could look like that then while looking like this now. I never ate well. Pizza, candy and Pepsi were the main staples in my diet. I have never eaten a salad in my life. Yuck. And exercise has never been on my agenda. Never. But, back then, I was THIN. Now, eating less pizza, less candy and drinking more water and diet coke I'm still this big. Strange how the metabolism can transform so much in so little time.

I've wondered what it was that made my body metamorphicize like it has. I've wondered if it was the fertility drugs I pumped under my skin for three years. Did they tell my body to stop processing food correctly? Did they make the request to hold on to every ounce and calorie in some strange preparation for something I have yet to be faced with? Does my body think I will be trapped for 80 hours in an elevator some day like this man? Since I don't speak mandarin and don't deliver asian food, I think that's a horrible joke on the part of my fat cells really.

In any event, I'm tackling this issue head on. I'm going to continue to take my vitamins, acidophillus and L-glutamine as well as delve into Dr Phil's Weight Solutions to find the answers while calculating the point value for every lollipop and sunflower seed kernel I put into my mouth. I will attend the weekly Cult meetings where I will applaud the others that make their goals and I will bask in the celebration when I hit my own marks.

I'm going to stop shy of taking a picture of myself in a bra and underwear as motivation though. Something about that just isn't right.

1 Rescued:

At 11:28 AM, Anonymous scott said...

You are right Weight Watchers is a cult. Invented by the man to keep us calorically-challenged down.
I hear the Kool-Aid is to die for, though.


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