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Wednesday, February 23, 2005

One of those days

I'm having one of those days. You know the kind where the 3 year old has a hearing deficiency and suddenly acts as if they are really 13 or 23 or some other ridiculously cocky age. One where you try to be nice and try to reason all the while they are destroying the dog, not eating their dinner and throwing toys.

I'm having one of those days. And have been. For three.

I don't know what in the hell has gotten into my once unyieldingly sweet child but I've found myself truly enraged with him. Found myself wanting to spank him or put him in bed indefinitely. I've found myself screaming my bloody block off at him. And found that it's like talking to the Berlin Wall.

I need a break.

I need to leave.

I need to drive away.

I need someone to take over for a little bit. Just a tiny little bit.

I need Tall Boy to come home and save me from myself.

None of that will happen, of course, because it can't. But that's what I need.

I'll keep plugging away, trying to maintain my composure and maturity. I'll remind myself that I am still the grown up here. Still the one in control. Still the one trying to set the example. I will hold it together, because I love him and because I have to, until Tall Boy returns.....

in two more sleeps.

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