Dead Horse

Since tomorrow is, well, tomorrow and since getting medicated has been mentioned here in Hero's Abode at least once in the last week, I'm gonna beat it...

Will he remember that I spent over an hour mixing, baking, frosting and decorating strawberry cupcakes in heart-shaped tins for his first day?

Will he remember that I spent 6 hours and went through two print cartridges trying to print a picture of he and daddy and one of he and mommy to go into his lunch box, just in case he gets insecure or sad?

Will he remember that he only wore his sneakers on Mondays all summer and that his feet were dirty all day every day AND had grown two and a half (from a 12 1/2 to a 2) sizes?

Will he remember that the night before school started I sat in the driveway trying to inflate the tires on his bike, that we had his favorite, pancakes, for dinner or that I got choked up reading The Kissing Hand again?

Will he remember that I was the one that trimmed his hair using the clippers?

Will he remember that we didn't really get to go school shopping because we really don't have the money?

Will he be strong enough to not be influenced by A-Rod, his tablemate, but instead help A-Rod to be a kinder, gentler kind of soul like he is?

Will he remember that he rides the "brown" bus, that we live on Blankshore Drive and, if they can't reach me, they can call Grammy and Papa and they'll be there in a flash too?

Will he remember that it took all of my willpower not to follow the bus all the way to school?

Will he remember that I panicked at the thought of oversleeping or sleeping through the alarm clock and he'd miss said bus and/or be late for his most exciting day?

Will he remember that we sat together in the green recliner and watched Charlotte's Web on HBO only up to the point where she writes "Some Pig" in the web because I wanted him in bed early?

Will he remember that Grammy Honda called him and told him she hopes he has just the best time at school?

Will he remember the giggle fit he had in Walmart yesterday and how the woman passing by us told me to foster that and never squelch it, as if I ever have?

Will he remember what it was like to be home with me all day every day, just the two of us?

Will I?

Will I be replaced by kids named Dylan or Jacob?

Will I miss him so terribly that I drive by school several times throughout the day hoping to catch a glimpse of him at recess?

Will I ever be able to convince people that I'm not nearly this neurotic, that I have friends and a life and stuff but this, this THING called school has me frozen with sadness?

Will my credibility ever recover from confessing this all for the world to see?