I think what we're saying is....

Just call it The Irving.....

Teaser Headline for Foster's this morning....

Our local paper, Foster's Daily Democrat, is notorious for horrible editing. I'm fairly certain that my mom spends more time getting tripped up on all the errors than she does reading an article of interest.

Since I quit working for them pretty abruptly back in '96, I don't buy the paper. But, I do read it on-line. Each morning then have a little box to the right of the mail column that has "teaser" headlines of the stories that will be unveiled for the noon addition. One of today's headlines reads:

"The Works seeks $6.5 expansion."

If I pay the $6.50 do I get naming rights and a lifetime membership?

Offered a plan

Hero: Doesn't my sister look great? She's lost so much weight. I know it's for the wrong reasons but still....

Tall Boy: Yeah, I noticed. What's up with that?

Hero: Well, you know, the stress of the divorce and everything is getting to her a bit.

Tall Boy: There's an idea. Wanna try it?

Hero: What did you just say?

Tall Boy: Well, I just thought....I was trying to be supportive.

Hero: Are you kidding?

Tall Boy: We can get married again in Puerto Villarta.

Hero: You ARE kidding.

Tall Boy: Yeah, you're right. It would be too expensive.

Who's who?

This made me laugh today....

Now that the sleep deprivation is subsiding....

Time changes suck. Well, they probably wouldn't suck so much if I had still gotten some sleep while I was out there. I was up for over 24 hours Wednesday then only got 3 hours of sleep from Friday into Saturday...partying like the hidden rockstar I am gets exhausting. So much fun, so little time.

My flights were wonderfully uneventful. I got to visit with my friend Von during my short DFW layover on the way down. It was so great to see him. He brought me some lunch and we sat on a bench just outside the baggage claim area and quickly caught up with each other. I then spent the flight from DFW to Phoenix perched at the window watching the landscape changes. Crop circles and rocky mountains that flew up out of nowhere. Beautiful.

I landed in Phoenix with a wall of heat in my face. It was somewhere in the 30's when I boarded the plane in Boston so the drastic change wiped me out. I managed to find my friends, Sweet P and Sonny, who had landed just about an hour before me. We got hooked up with the rental then made our way to the resort. Our condo was a one bedroom on the second floor. It had a balcony that overlooked the 10th hole of the golf course. We had a living room, full kitchen and beautiful bath. Very nice.

We lounged around most of the afternoon getting adjusted then hit the Outback for dinner. After dinner we went to the Albertson's to get some supplies and food then went back to the resort to chill. We sat up talking, laughing and reconnecting until about 2am Phoenix time. I had gotten up at 4:30 New Hampshire time so I was WAY beyond the 24 hour point when I hit the fold-out couch.

Thursday Sweet P played 18 holes while we hit the malls. Huge. The malls went on forever and ever. I decided I'd done enough walking that I didn't need to do a workout in the fitness center. I glanced at my watch at one point and panicked. It was quarter of 5 and Sweet P had wanted to leave the resort around 6 for the show. Something about trying to find the band's bus. We changed clothes and were on the road to Glendale around 6:30.

We made our way to our seats and can I just say HOLY SMOKES! Our section was just to the right of the stage in the lower level. I was in row 12 and my friends were in 13 directly behind me but we were basically at even level with the stage. Bono and the boys were essentially 100 feet or so from us. They had to have heard me screaming my blood block off at them.

The show was, as Sweet P's friend Scout put it: PHENOMENAL!

The lights went down and as the crowd roared, these people with enormous spotlights came up from underneath and were shining it around the arena at the crowd. At first it seemed like it was just random people but it was actually the band which was so cool. They made their way to their places then the lights came up and Bono and LMJr were at the front of the outer circle. LMJr whaled on just a large tom-tom while the Edge and AC were back on the main stage. I wish I could find some shots on their website of the stage layout but they don't have the new set up on their site yet.

Anyway....

For the next few songs, they mixed a lot of the old with the new: Vertigo and Elevation along with Electric Co and An Cat Dubh then City of Blinding Lights with Beautiful Day and Miracle Drug. Completely Rocking!

BUT!

After slowing it down a bit for Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own, they started a string of 7 classics: New Year’s Day, Sunday Bloody Sunday, Bullet The Blue Sky, Running to Stand Still, Pride in the name of love, Where the Streets Have No Name, and ended it with One just before the first "break". I'm not exaggerating in the least when I say that I was teary-eyed by the time they left the stage. It was incredible.

When they came back out after that break they continued their streak with three more top-notch tunes: Zoo Station, The Fly, and Mysterious Ways.

After taking another bow and leaving the stage, they came out and closed the show with All Because of You, Yahweh, finishing with the return of "40" with the crowd closing the show singing "How long to sing this song" just as they did so long ago at Red Rock.

The staging was fabulous so that they were seen from every angle and they had drapes of lights that rolled down at certain points to add graphics. Very cool.

Just before they did One, Bono had everyone flip open their cellphones and had the techs shut off the lights and the arena was basically lit up by the phones. It was really a cool moment. I won't get into the politics of the speech that went along with it. If you're interested, click on the new banner in the header.

All in all, the experience was really out-of-body and beyond anything that I could ever put into words. It was like a pilgrimage of sorts. Not that I wouldn't see them again, but it was like I was finally where I belonged, at least for a couple of hours.

Friday was spent lounging around and hitting the malls again while Sweet P played another round of golf. Later in the afternoon I walked around the resort to take pictures. As I passed through the lounge I noticed that the pro shop was open so I decided to pop in there to maybe get myself a little momento. As I stood in line to pay, I realized that the clerk working the desk looked really familiar to me but I know that I don't know anyone that lives in Phoenix. I kept staring at him and thankfully he was busy waiting on the people in front of me in line so as to not notice my unyielding stare. As he finished with the first person in line and moved on to the people that were just in front of me I realized who it was: The husband from the second Dr Phil Family! I didn't make like I recognized him as I didn't want to embarrass him but it was funny that I figured it out.

Then Friday night we went out to dinner at this really awesome Italian place in Scottsdale then hit a bar there to see a really great U2 cover band called Zoo Station. Though obviously not as good as the real thing the night before, we really had a blast rocking out with them and singing along with them. Their guitarist is really excellent. We stayed out until almost 2 then got a bit lost on the ride home (my first time driving the entire trip) and I didn't get to bed until after 3. The alarm at 6:30 came way too early for me.

Saturday was spent flying and visiting with another friend and his family.

All in all, the trip completely exceeded my expectations, dreams and wishes. Memorable isn't even the word for it. I gave my e-mail address to the woman sitting next to me at the show so she could send me pictures that she took. If she sends them, I'll post them. Promise.

T-minus...

The time has come! I leave early tomorrow morning for Phoenix. I dug my shorts out of the bottom of the bureau that I haven't even looked at since way before January and threw some new Old Navy graphic t's in with them. Grabbed me some new jammies while I was there too. I love jammies. Love them. Oh, and slippers. Slippers are the bomb.

I'm nearly packed. I've got almost all my clothes in the bag and just need to go grab a couple of grubby things to work out in. I can't say I can't work out while I'm there. I can't blame it on bad weather, cold weather, not having clothes, not having time. Basically, I have no excuse not to exercise. And, the resort has a gym with all kinds of funky things to use too. No excuses! And, with my new Dell Jukebox mp3 player I can even up the pace on the tread if I get ambitious.

To answer you Trac, I've packed a disposable camera for this trip. Since I'm traveling alone, since it's a short trip and since I've already loaded my carry-on with the player, my wallet, a book and my Weight Watchers materials (gotta stay on plan you know), I don't really have room for it. I'm trying to streamline what I've got to keep track of and not break. But, I am bringing the dumper to at least get some things on film, for posterity sake.

I was up pretty late last night writing out a detailed itinerary for Tall Boy while I'm gone. He'll know where he's supposed to be and where Bam-Bam will be at all times. For only being gone 4 days, it got quite extensive. Can't leave anything to chance with him. I even had my sister proof it to make sure I'd covered all my bases. He's got my cellphone number as well as the phone number to the resort plus all the times of my flights and the time of the concert. Now, if he can just remember that we're at least 2 hours earlier here than it will be there, I'll be all set.

So, I've got 107 U2 songs cued up in the playlist, the tickets in my bag and I'm ready to rock! Now, if I can just figure out how to do it all without missing the boys too much I'll be golden!

The Cult

I joined a cult yesterday. My cult has various leaders that are paid to spearhead any of the fifteen gatherings held each week. They provide information and encouragement to it's members that keep them on the road to healing, enrichment and fulfillment in our lives. They offer tricks and tools to deal with life beyond the cult. They answer questions and provide education on how to incorporate the cult into our daily lives.

I joined Weight Watchers.

In my quest to lose this weight for good, I sought guidance from the ones who have made it work and have been able to sustain their weight long after becoming a lifetime member.

My goal is to shed 2 pounds each week for the next lifetime or until October, whichever comes first. I really want to look my best for our trip to PV. But, I keep thinking how great I will feel once I get there and how awesome it will be once the seven days in paradise have passed. I'm looking beyond those isolated days to the greatness that I will relish in even after those memories have been logged in.

I used to be thin. Sickly thin. So thin my mom once asked me if I had an eating disorder. I laugh now when I gaze at my reflection wondering how I could look like that then while looking like this now. I never ate well. Pizza, candy and Pepsi were the main staples in my diet. I have never eaten a salad in my life. Yuck. And exercise has never been on my agenda. Never. But, back then, I was THIN. Now, eating less pizza, less candy and drinking more water and diet coke I'm still this big. Strange how the metabolism can transform so much in so little time.

I've wondered what it was that made my body metamorphicize like it has. I've wondered if it was the fertility drugs I pumped under my skin for three years. Did they tell my body to stop processing food correctly? Did they make the request to hold on to every ounce and calorie in some strange preparation for something I have yet to be faced with? Does my body think I will be trapped for 80 hours in an elevator some day like this man? Since I don't speak mandarin and don't deliver asian food, I think that's a horrible joke on the part of my fat cells really.

In any event, I'm tackling this issue head on. I'm going to continue to take my vitamins, acidophillus and L-glutamine as well as delve into Dr Phil's Weight Solutions to find the answers while calculating the point value for every lollipop and sunflower seed kernel I put into my mouth. I will attend the weekly Cult meetings where I will applaud the others that make their goals and I will bask in the celebration when I hit my own marks.

I'm going to stop shy of taking a picture of myself in a bra and underwear as motivation though. Something about that just isn't right.

Are you Wounded?

Third Eye Blind has a song that is one that drives deep into me, beyond my soul. The mere fact that a Y-Chromosome wrote it is mind boggling to me. He got it. He saw it in another, felt it deep into his own core, put it on paper then went that final blessed step of putting it to music for the world to hear. A rare Y-Chromosome indeed.

Wounded.

Are you one of the Wounded? Was he your friend? Your boyfriend? Your husband? A stranger? Yeah? then let's band together. Let's lift each other up. Let's take each other to that place where the Wound needs Mederma. Let's go beyond the actual flowing of blood, beyond the scab that gets wet whenever the date arrives or you meet someone with the same name. We can do it. Together we can "back down the bully to the back of the bus 'cause it's time for him to be scared of us". Even if all you wanna post in the comment is your date, please do so. Be heard!

Or maybe you're someone in love with a Wounded? Do you take the time to acknowledge that the Wound is there? How often do you ask for a temperature check on the topic? Do you even know what her date is? She'll be able to rattle it off if you asked her, you know. Of course, you also need to be mindful that the date isn't the only time that the memory washes over her because it will and it does, sometimes at the least opportune times. If you love a Wounded, you're already special because she's trusted you enough to let you back in. There's no understating that.

Or, maybe you're a supporting actor? Friend, sister, brother, parent? Just the fact that you know is an enormous step for your Wounded's healing process. Talking about the Wound for the first time is often more painful than the original cut. Does thinking about the Wound scare you? Do you avoid it, hoping the time will carrying the memory away? Do you hurt because you feel helpless? Clumsy? Awkward? It's ok, really. She understands.

It doesn't matter which character you play, I want to hear from you. I wanna know I'm not alone, at least for today. I wanna take today to rejoice, heal a little more, band together and celebrate survival of the strongest. We are no longer weak or feeble. We are stronger because of the Wound. We are loved and we love back. We are more powerful because of the Wound and we will combine our voices and reclaim our inner peace, together, right now!

C'mon now, chin up, we'll rock on. You're a miracle. They're missing you.

Where have I been you ask?

I've been here, quietly making my way through last week. With all the public, heavy, issues, I guess I was a just a little bit introspective and felt that most of what I was dealing with pared in comparison. I mean, no matter what side of the issue you were on regarding Terri Shiavo, someone was still dead when all was said and done and that's incredibly sad. And it was exponentially more sad to see it played out in the pubic forum the way it was.

Then, within hours, we lost our beloved Pope. Again, no matter where you are in your religious affiliation, he was an incredible leader and amazing man and the loss of him will be felt beyond the confines of the Catholic chuch.

So, given all that, the day-to-day mayhem that I usually juggle just didn't seem worthy of writing about. You know, you just can't complain about being overweight, having too much laundry or needing to clean your bedroom when people are dying. Sacriligious whining is just not cool.

But, while all that was going on I was quietly dealing with my own little celebrations. I watched most of the snow disappear from my front lawn. With the rain and warmer weather, it transformed our beautifully unmaintained dirt road into this:


and this:



All the while, the disappearing white stuff reminded us that this was looming on our front lawn too. Reminents of the remodeling of the greatroom that was done in January.





But, beyond all that, there were indeed some exciting things brewing here in the Grassy Patch.

I'm anxiously preparing for my Phoenix trip. I managed to score a better ticket via eBay and instead of being in the back, way in the upper echelon of the Glendale Arena, I'll now be in the row and seat directly in front of my friends that I'm going with. Superstar.

I also managed to convince Tall Boy that I needed an mp3 player for the flights. I landed a 20GB Dell Digital Jukebox (aka The DJ) for almost $100 under list, also via eBay. I've been diligently converting all my saved music over to mp3 format so that I'm ready to lock and load once it arrives. Apparently since I paid for it within minutes of the end of the auction, the seller took a special trip to get it in the mail that day! Yippee-ky-ay.

But, without a doubt, the excitement of the week has got to be the trip we're planning, not to Aruba as previously mentioned, but to Puerto Villarta, Mexico. I can say with certainty that PV is our destination with the check written yesterday for the timeshare. The place has got a freaking Lazy River with swim-up bars! Again, yippee-ky-ay!

So, I'm back. I'll be back. I'll be updating the earworm of the day and all that jazz too. And, if you have a minute, scroll down to the very bottom and give me a rating ok? Muchos Gracias (can you tell I've begun brushing up on my spanish?)